Scott Pilgrim, The Ride Never Ends
by RyderRosas
Summary: Ramona meets a clerk in amazon and decides to help him getting by, but the man has got a secret, a secret that involves Ramona, Scott and everyone they ever cared about.
1. Chapter 1

_**Scott Pilgrim: The Rider never ends**_

_**(Author's note: Yeah, this is my first fanfiction ever done (YAY) so, i might do a couple of dumb mistakes, but guess what? I do not care. I will try to learn from them of course, but don't be dickheads.  
**_

_**Special thanks to Nottoc00, Voice4themute and AzellaRant (or whoever created Lily Pilgrim)**_

A young man with short hair, wearing a open jacket with a Smashing Pumkings shirt under rushed though a set of stairs, at the top, there was a young woman with midly long blue hair and a smile on her face next to a door with a star on it, the door was leading  
to some kind of dimmension, one that was as misterious as the couple.

-So... _let's try it again._  
The woman offered a hand to her companion and stare at him before entering the door, dissaparing.  
That was the supposed ending to a story, a story with one of those "unique" endings, but, unlike some stories, this one doesn't ends.  
Specially when trouble is just coming and it isn't stopping. Or did little Rammy and Scott though this was all over? Oh no no no, this is just starting,  
and this ride isn't ending, at least not for now...

_2 years after the defeat of Gideon and the 7 exes_

Ramona Flowers (_**Age 27, Status: Working again as a Courier!)**_ walks inside the Amazon warehouse where she worked again, passing by the information desk, where a angry looking clerk wearing a suit jacket and a beard stares at her, as trying to investigate her, Ramona stares back with a sarcastic smile and walks up the stairs, meeting his boss, James Clark _**(Age 34 Status: Scared of the new guy)** _greeted her.  
-Hey Ramona, you got the usual, deliveries, some of them close, some of them at 15 km from here **(This would be a pain in the ass without subspace)** andddd, Oh! The new guy is here, he's recommended from New York, and i think he might burn down the building if he-  
-**WORK YOU STUPID PIECE OF CRAP! WHAT IS THIS F # NG BLUE SCREEN!?**  
-Calm...Him...Down...  
-Oh c'mon James! Why me? said Ramona obviously disapointed **(Ramona Flowerrs Note: Of course i am!)**  
-Because, A:You are a people person, and B: I already tried with **EVERYONE** and, he's just even more pissed off.  
-Alright. You owe me one.  
Ramona walked down the stair to see the clerk again, staring the computer with a death stare, as he was about to destroy the machine with  
infernal fire while hitting the keyboard and screen with both of his fists. Ramona simply walks up to him and takes the keyboard,  
before the clerk can react, the computer is fine again and in a menu with the deliveries on screen. The clerk stares surprised at her.  
-Wow, thanks, i was about to go insane. Sorry for not saying hi before, names Robert, say what's your name again? _**(NEW INFO UNCLOCKED! Name: Robert Age:Unknown Eveything else: Unknown)**_  
-Don't mention it, names Ramona, why were so pissed anyways? James told me you were recommended or something.  
-Yeah... You know what they say about drugs and booze making you go dumber? They were right. I hate those idiots. I used to work in an office, like 5 years ago. But shit happened.  
-Heh, hard to imagine that, anyways, i got to make a couple of deliveries, just try to don't destroy the building okay?  
-Okay... Before you leave, can i ask you something?  
-Yeah?  
-Do you know where can i stay to sleep?  
-You have got to be kidding me.  
_-Please?_

Hours later, Ramona Flowers _**(Status: Even more angry than Robert with the computer right now!)** _and Robert Rodriguez _**(Status: Yeah, i told her my last name offscreen! Oh wait is there a fouth wall here? Dammit! Anyways, I SWEAR I WILL PAY THIS BACK) **_  
stood in front of the door of her friend Kim Pine.  
-Again, why not your place?  
-Oh, i'm sorry, do you prefer a 5 star hotel?  
-You insisted on helping me! and i don't want to piss anyone off here.  
-My boyfriend and i got a date, so yeah, you are staying here until tomorrow. Why did i try to be nice to a guy that i don't even know for  
more than a day?  
-Puppy eyes baby! Never failed me! said Robert smiling.  
-Just ring the bell before i change my mind.  
Robert rings the bell, and the door opens to reveal a blonde woman with an angry looking face.  
-Oh great, Kim's friend, what do YOU want now?  
-Oh boy, not one **OF YOUR KIND, NOT AGAIN, you think you are the best of the world with your shitty makeups and your bitchy attitude right?!Well guess what you B #~h I HATE YOU! YOU HEARD ME?! NO ONE LI-**  
Ramona put her hand in front of Robert's mouth before he could end the sentence, while blocking the door with her feet,_**(Ramona Flowers Note: NOT PISSING ANYONE?!) **_while Sara called Kim to come down.  
-Oh hey Ramona, who's grumpy face? said Kim Pine **(Age: 26)** walking down the stairs while Sara got up with fire on her eyes.  
-Ah yeah, he's a friend of mines, and he needs a place to stay tonight, could you do me this favor? Scott's waiting back at home.  
-Ramona, you know that anyone else would get the door right now, he can stay, but only tonight, Sara would go off the walls if anyone stays here for more than a night.  
-Thanks Kim, well, see you tomorrow , good luck Robert.  
Ramona left the house while Kim walked the staircase back to her room.  
-Wait, no introduction?  
-Oh right, I'm Kim and i got work tomorrow, the couch is there, good night.  
-Oh c'mon! Can't you just have a chat with me?  
-If i'm letting you stay here is for Ramona, believe me, i DON'T want to talk with you.  
Robert sits on the couch, turning on the TV, slashes and loud screams came out from the screen immediately.  
-Oh, well you look at that, it's Kill Bill Vol 1! And on the massacre scene! And uncensored! If only someone would come down here and chat with me... maybe share a few drinks...  
-Oh, okay, just shut up! I will watch the goddamn movie with you!  
-I knew you were.  
Kim walks the stairs back down and sits on the couch next to Robert, and stares at the screen silently.  
-Just tell me about youself! You sound like an insteresting person!  
-You must be real dumb to think that.  
-Yeah, i'm kinda am, but i'm not the personification of the nineties.  
-Repeat that and you sleep outside tonight.

One long chat and 1 bottle of Whiskey later, Robert and Kim were on the couch talking loudly.  
...-So, the guy left Ontario a couple of weeks later, and there i was, broken, without any friends left, and alone. You might realize how that went.  
-That's fucked up, that Scott dude sounds like the world's biggest douchebag.  
-Because he was, he was scum, but he kinda redempted, well, tell me about YOUR life now Mr. "Mysterious Stranger"  
-Oh right, MY life...Well... i had a couple of problems back home you see...  
**-WOULD YOU BOTH SHUT UP?! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE DAMMIT! IT'S LIKE 12 AM YOU LOUD IDIOTS!**  
-Well, i got work at 8.  
-So as i, you can tell me your story tomorrow. Good night kid.  
Kim stood up and walked up the staircase and stopped in the middle of the stairs.  
-Before i forget, a girl i know is hosting a party on her house tomorrow, you might wanna go there, to make friends or something.  
-I might do, is she hot?  
-She's the ugliest person i ever met both in the inside and outside. But some friends of mines go there, god knows why. I will introduce  
you a couple.  
-Thanks Kim.  
-Don't mention it.  
Kim walks the remmaining stairs and dissapears on the dark hallway, while Robert lays down on the couch.  
-Okay, i think i just fuck it up again, great, now i must create another fake life.** Again. **_Adrian you fucking fool..._

_** TO BE CONTINUED**_


	2. Chapter 1B

_**Author's Note:_ Part 2! So, there's not much to say about this, except that is going to be a little long (Little my ass) so yeah, brace yourselfs because i'm not stopping fellas, oh, and 26 readers! Not bad for the first one**_** right?**

**CHAPTER 2**  
Ramona got back to her house almost at 10, entering the door she saw her boyfriend, Scott Pilgrim (**Age: 26 status: Waiting for Ramona!)** paciently standing next to the door, DS in hand.  
"Ramona! What took you so long?"  
"I had to drop a friend on Kim's house, he's going to stay with us a couple of days, hope you don't mind" said Ramona while hanging  
her jacket on the coathanger.  
"A friend of yours... no problem!"  
**MEANWHILE ON SCOTT'S MIND**  
"Oh god no, he could be:  
**A**: A hobo!  
**B**: Some secret evil ex!  
**C**: An ultra crazy pyschopath that could trying to kidnap Rammy because she's the prettiest and most awesome girl on Canada!  
I must defeat Ramona's evil friend!  
"Scott, he's not dangerous."  
"Wait did you just read my mind?!"  
"You are making worried faces, you always do."  
"Huh, anyways, i made dinner! Happy aniversary Ramona!"  
Scott moved to a side revealing a delicious dinner set on the floor, with drinks and candles set up.  
"It's the meal we had the first time you come into my apartment!"  
"Oh Scott, you are so sweet." said Ramona while kissing his boyfriend on the cheek.

_ The Next Day_

"So, how did it went with Kim?" said Ramona, standing in the information desk of Amazon, where Robert Rodriguez **(Status: TIRED)** was standing with 2 cups of coffee on each hand.  
"It went well, that Kim chick is a nice person, she's actually taking me to a party tonight to meet a couple of his friends of something.  
Well, if you don't count that i actually slept 5 hours thanks to my stress, it went fucking alright."  
"Really?, 5 hours?"  
"I'm not a hard sleeper Ramona, but let's stop talking about your night, how did the date went?"  
"It went perfect."  
"So you **DID** get laid last night, good to know."  
"Not here dammit!" said Ramona embarrassed while hitting his friend with the shoulder on his head. **(Ramona Flowers note: OF COURSE I'M EMBARRASED!)**  
"Okay, okay, so does he mind that i stay with you guys for a while?"  
"Nah, he's fine about it"  
"Great, that will make things less uncomfortable for all of us"  
"So, do you have anything to move?"  
"My car, but don't worry about it, i will bring the car by myself, you better go make the deliveries"  
"Yeah, well, see you later."  
After Ramona dissapears crossing the door, Robert almost inmmediatly stands up the chair and leaves a _"Back in 5 minutes"_ sign on the counter,  
while running outside the store and to the parking lot, opening a black Dodge Charger 1979 and entering it.  
"Okay, don't freak out and do this once and for all." told Robert to himself.  
"Take dual pistols on glove box?"** -Check**  
"Take the Uzis from the seats?" **-Check**  
"Take compromising picture with Miguel?"** -Check**  
Robert takes all of the weapons and a picture of him with a bald man wearing a hawaian shirt and hides them on his suit jacket, while exiting the car  
and opening the trunk. Inside the trunk there's a large briefcase. Robert opens the briefcase and leaves both the guns and picture inside before closing  
the briefcase and the trunk and getting back to the Information desk and ripping apart the sign to pieces and drinking a big sip of coffee.  
"Why did i always let that part for last?" **(Robert Rodriguez note: Because you are a MORON!)**

_Some more hours_ later.

Ramona and Albert stand next to the closed door of the amazon Warehouse **(RyderRosas note: Or was it office? God dammit i need to google that up)** while putting their respective winter jackets.  
"So, are you sure you don't wanna go with me and Kim to the party?"  
"I'm pretty sure Scott might think you are some kind of "Secret boss fight" if you take me and Kim without him"  
"Secret boss? Arg, fuck it! Tell him to come over! I bet he wants to!"  
"Yeah, Julie's parties can end up on dissasters too often you know? Last one was a kidnapping."  
"Do i have to do the obvious question?" said Robert as he opened the door of his car and sat on the driver's seat.  
"No, there was **NO** rape." "And it was Kim you know? So don't talk about it near her." said Ramona as she sat on the on the passenger's seat.  
"So, what it is? Is Kim the standard of ugly on Canada?"  
"No, but she can kick ass even in a cage."  
"Cage? You guys **SERIOUSLY** need to lay off the drugs."  
"Can you just drive?"  
"Okay, just tell me where the hell i go."

After finally arriving to Scott and Ramona's house **(Robert Rodriguez note: WHICH IS FAR AS F~ ~€ FROM WORK!)** Ramona rings the bell, waiting for Scott to open the door, while Robert lights a cigarrete.  
"Okay, please do NOT insult him because you don't like him, last thing you want is to piss him off."  
"Are you really going to remind me that EVERY time i have to meet any friends of yours?"  
"Just make a good first impression."  
The door opens, finally revailing the man everyone has been talking about the last two days on Robert's life, Scott almost immediately freaks up  
when seeing the suited bearded man next to Ramona.  
**"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"**  
"Scott, DON'T!"  
Scott doesn't listen to Ramona, instead he rises his fist and punches Robert on the face, a tooth flies from his mouth.  
"He **CLEARLY** is** EVIL!**, **LOOK AT HIM!** He's wearing a suit and he's smoking!"  
"Are you **FUCKING RETARDED?!**" "Screw first impressions! You are going down cannuck!"  
**_ ROBERT VS SCOTT!_**  
_** FIGHT!**_  
Robert gets up and uppercuts Scott on the face, returning the hit, Scott kicks Robert on the chest, throwing him to his knees, Robert uses this as an opportunity and headbuts Scott on the crotch, throwing him inside the house, Scott gets up and starts punching Robert all over his body, launching him over the garden, Robert pulls off a Knife off his jacket, and Scott pulls off "The Power of Self-Respect" off his chest, glancing a smile.  
"**A KATANA?!** I call bullshit!"  
"You pulled a knife on me!"  
"**WOULD YOU BOTH STOP?!"** Said Ramona as she got in the middle of both of them, interrupting the fight.  
**"He started**!" they both said at the same time.  
**"Lie! You started!"**  
**"Stop saying what i'm saying!**"  
**"You're doing again!"**  
"Are you going to be like that all night?"  
"Wait, let me see if he guess this one." said Scott.  
"No."  
"Oh, you are a buzzkiller Ramona."  
"You started fighting my friend because he wears suits!"  
"Evil.. people wear... suits... and smoke..." said Scott ashamed.  
"Of course i wear suits! Almost everyone in downtown Toronto wear suits! Jesus Christ, don't take him to a Office complex or he gets the chair!

...

"Oh you got to be kidding me." said Robert while examining his fallen tooth.  
"Look, im sorry for your teeth, i will pay the dentist bill, don't worry about that."  
"It was my Wisdom Teeth."  
"Oh, theeen i owe you something else."  
"And it gets worst than this on those friends parties?"  
"Yep."  
"Well, i need a drink, and better company than this jackass. So i'm going anyways."  
"Going where?"  
"Kim invited him to Julie's party."  
"Julie's having a party?! Can i go?"  
"Oh god dammit Scott..."  
"Just let him go. He owes me something and that i bet that party has booze."

**Sorry for sudden Stop, but i need to make a big jumpcut and i think this is enough for a episode, don't worry! Next one will be longer!**

**Okay maybe it wasn't. But it's a 2 part chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3: Knives, Pens and Guns(part1)

"So, talk about first impressions right?" said Kim Pine while walking with Ramona Flowers** (Status: Angry with Scott)**, Scott Pilgrim **(Status: In a mess)** and Robert Rodriguez **(Status: IT HURTS SO MUCH**) on the streets of Toronto.  
"Can we talk about the KNIFE he pulled on me?!" said Scott starring worried at his new roommate.  
"Scott, i'm from New York, mugging is something normal there, this is for self defense. Besides, you pulled a goddamn flaming katana on me." stated Robert while playing with the knife on his hand.  
"Could you stop with that thing please? You could hit someone" said Ramona annoyed.  
"Oh c'mon! You worry too much! I'm a pro with this thing!" _**"Auch!"**_  
"Told you."  
The group finally arrived 5 minutes later, to a apartment building, people entering it from all directions and entering the elevator while loud music was blasting from the top floor.  
"Oh god, i forgot why i hate this kind of places" "Too many idiots."  
"You don't even know any of them!"  
"I don't need to, they are going to one of Julie's parties for gods sake." Stated Kim.  
"Let's just get in." said Ramona entering the building along with Scott.  
"You guys go ahead, we will enter when the elevator isn't... so full... yeah..." Said Robert trying to put in a poor excuse.** (Robert Rodriguez note: Poor? You REALLY don't know me.)**

_"So Kim, you were talking about this band of yours..."_

Back in the building, Ramona and Scott enter one of the crowded elevators by pure luck, while pushing drunk people out of the way.  
"We aren't waiting for them?"  
"They know where the party is, right?, So let's have some fun without them!" said Ramona with a smile on her face pressing the button to the top floor.  
"Right, as long as no evil enemies show up..."  
"Don't jinx us!"

_And so..._

Ramona and Scott arrived to Julie's apartment, loud music was playing everywhere, drunk, idiots and drunk idiots on every corner.  
**(Kim Pine Note :Like ALL of Julie's parties!)**  
"So, we get drunk?"  
"Really? We just got here Rammy."  
"I had a **LONG** day, i want to have fun."  
"We could hang out with Stephen Stills?"  
Ramona stared back at Scott.  
"Young Neil?"

"Okay, i'll get the Tequila..."

**MEANWHILE DOWNSTAIRS...**

"I want to meet this Stills guy."  
"Well, he's one of the few guys that wasn't a complete asshole with me..."  
"To ask him to join your band!"  
**"WAIT WHAT?!"**  
"I was a guitar player back home! We were SICK! I can get a guitar, i know a guy, don't worry!"  
"You are **NOT** joining Sex-bob-omb! We already had enough with getting Stills back after he **BEGGED** for readmission! Were you listening to me 5 minutes ago?"  
"I got lost at "I have a awesome band" part... please?"  
"NO. I stand with more shit than anyone, i had to move in with the most idiotic group of sex addicts of Toronto again, i have to stand the worst job i ever could wish to anyone with the worst co-worker in the world, **I'M NOT GOING TO LET ANY CHANCES OF DESTROYING MY ONLY ESCAPE!"**  
"Jeez, i get it. Let's just go uptairs now..."

**UPSTAIRS**  
As soon as Kim and Robert got in the party, Julie Powers **(Age: 25)** noticed the couple and went to them.  
"Wow, and i though you were going to die alone Kim."  
"Wait what the hell are you talking abo-? **YOU BI#~€!**" Yelled Kim.  
"So, you're this Julie chick i heard about?"  
"You heard about me?"  
"Yeah, they told me you were a bitch. I think you might be right Kim."  
"Bitch? I pull you off the favour of hid the memorial i put for Envy Adams and you return it like **THAT**?"  
"Envy Adams died? Meh."  
"I'm going to ignore that insult and letting you go this time, but don't make any mess. And yes, she killed herself last month, this idiot though that not letting Scott Pilgrim know would be a good idea." explained Julie leaving both of them.  
"Explanation."  
"Scott dated Envy on College, they broke and got reunited some time ago, long story, last month she fell off the balcony of her condo in New York and died. Scott might take it badly, so Ramona and i have been hidding every single piece of information from him."  
"How did that go?"  
"Well, the media went crazy, so Ramona used precorded shows to distract Scott, i cut off the Internet from the house when no one was looking, and we agreeded with all of our friends to not talk a word about it."  
"You should tell him."  
"He's like a 5 year old, both in mind and emotion, we are trying to find a "subtle" way to tell him."  
"Yeah, good luck with that, so who's first on list?"  
"Well, there's Stills, Neil... oh yeah, Knives too..."  
"Knives? Why the nickname?"  
"It's not a nickname, her father is just insane."  
"Ok, got the message, don't fuck with her father, anything else?"  
"She has an obsession with Scott and white weapons, tried to kill Ramona several times and failed each time, her dad is insane, but that's already stated, fangirl of The Clash And The Demonhead, not much to say."  
Robert stared at Kim with a serious look and started to twitch his eye while smiling.

_Meanwhile, in Julie's bed..._  
"Ramona..."  
"Yeah?"  
"Why did you decided to help that guy?"  
"He seemed nice."  
"It may be the Tequila talking, but i think that's not the true reason..."  
"Okay, he remimded me of myself when i first got to Toronto... Lost and alone, i wanted to give him a hand you know? The one no one gave me, well, except Julie and you i guess."  
"That's deep, i'm proud of you Ramona." Scott smiled and kissed to her girlfriend.

_Downstairs_

Robert and Kim standed near the table on which sat Knives Chau **(Age:20 Status: On holidays!)** and her friend Tamara **(Age:Same as Knives? Fun Fact: She's Knives' only friend)**  
"Which one is Knives?"  
"The one with the black dress and hair."  
"She's cute."  
"Are you really going for this?"  
"And why the **f $%** not?"  
"Could you stop swearing?"  
"Could you **F-**..." tried to respond before someone dropped his drink on his shoulder.  
"The hell is wrong with you you moron!?"  
"What!? ca-can't i have so-some goddamn f-fun you dumb Mexican!" responded a man with a black top and a empty cup on his hand.  
"What did you just called me?"**(Ryderrosas note: Did i forgot to say that he had hispanic skin? My deepest apologies.)**  
"**ME-XI-CA-**" His insult was abruptly interrupted when Robert kicked him in the crotch **(Robert Rodriguez Note: HOPE IT HURTS DUMBASS!)** and pulled out a butterfly knife, launching it on the air, and landing next to the nose of the drunktard. Everyone was looking in shock.  
"Next time the knife goes on your **balls.**"

"Jesus, that's some impressive skills you got there man, friend of yours Kim?" said Knives Chau **(Status: Impressed)**  
"Ehhhh, yeah, he's a friend of mines, Robert, this is Knives, now if you excuse me, i'm going to get Ramona." Said Kim, walking away from the couple, whispering something to Robert before leaving.  
_"You're welcome."_

**Annnnd, we end my hardest chapter to this point! Awesome right? Anyways, second part coming soon enough!**


End file.
